Ok! So rewinding and replaying past actions/decisions and driving myself crazy about why I didn’t do better or act differently is a scenario that has bothered me too many times. That is, until I realized just how much time and energy I was wasting unproductively.
Yes, our decisions and actions do influence our future but there are circumstances that play a role too. So, do we blame ourselves for the rest of our lives for mistakes or situations that may have been partly out of our control? And do we realize just how negatively these blame games affect our future too – sometimes even more than our mistakes? What we are doing essentially is wasting time and energy looking at what we didn’t do rather than what we can do now. The result is devastating if we’re serious about achieving our goals.
So, let’s cut to the chase and start thinking about ways to overcome regrets and keep moving towards achieving what we’ve set out for. Here’s an 8-point plan on how to deal with regrets and keep moving towards your goals.
Erase the discontentment
There’s always going to be something we didn’t do, somewhere we didn’t go and something we should have said. But if we think we’re the only ones then we’re wrong. Every individual deal with these regret some time or the other in life and if we carry them around forever the cracks are going to start showing. It takes a lot of effort and courage, but the sooner you can accept, erase and move on – the faster and nearer you’re going to get to your goals. It’s a toss between moping around about “what could have been” and giving energy to “what can be”. I’m sure you know which one is going to help!
Don’t get stuck in the past
Do you believe that we change every second? Well like it or not, we do! You’re never going to be the person you were yesterday and nor will you be tomorrow what you are today. Bit by bit we change as a result of our life experiences and everyday incidents teach us something new. So what happened yesterday or a few months and years ago, would not have happened today and so on. Does it really sound intelligent to get stuck and live in the past? You’re no longer the same person you were back then and nor, will you be tomorrow. Wisest thing to do? – Don’t waste precious time, move on!
Acknowledge and accept
Nobody’s perfect, period. If you’ve made mistakes or missed out on doing things you should have, well so has everyone else. Acknowledging our limitations and accepting them is a great way to move forward. The minute you accept a fault or weakness, you begin a journey to eliminate and improve on them. Until you do that, you’re getting sucked into a vortex of negativity and closing doors that lead to happiness. Be brave, own up and get on with it.
Learn from your mistakes
You can feel sorry for yourself and spiral into depression or you can learn from your mistakes and make them your strengths. It’s not that simple you say? Well
Focus on what you can control
What you could have done has no relevance today. Look at the things you can do at this moment and work towards them. The best way to stop wasting your time is to forget about things that are no longer in your scope of action. Think today, think now. Once you start doing that your life will automatically start moving towards your goals. Remember your actions should be born from your immediate goals (broken down from your long term goals) and capabilities.
Appreciate what you have
Slow down, breathe, take a look at what you do have. That could be friendships, family, romance, a job, opportunities, finances or anything that gives you a sense of security. Nothing is permanent in life and what you have now may not last forever. Say a prayer, thank that guy/gal up there who looks after us all and start making plans for achieving goals with that positive thought in mind. There is every chance that you’ll start making things better very soon.
Look for opportunities in reality
J K Rowling says, “We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already.” I think that’s all we need to know to find strength and happiness. This means being realistic, identifying our abilities and opportunities and acting on them. Simply put, there’s no magic in this world, it’s all within us and it is up to yours truly to put it to good use. In fact, many times there’s no evidence to back up your regret either. Perception is mostly never reality. Open your eyes, stop moping, you got this, make it happen.
Be practical, take action
Finally, start taking action that is practical and logical as soon as possible. Make a list of your regrets, what stopped you or why you couldn’t achieve what you wanted and what you could have done better. Find patterns and reasons in that list and analyze what you learned and what you would like to do differently now. Choose to forget, choose to move on, choose to live and choose to act.
In the end, go ahead and let them judge you. You’re the only one who needs to approve of you. Do what’s right for you and if you want to succeed, you really need to put those regrets to rest.
How do you deal with regrets? Share with me in the comment section.
Do not forget to pin post and share with your friends.
More soon.
Magbè.
My two biggest ways to leave regrets behind is to never look back and always learn from whatever happens to/with/around me.
That’s the perfect recipe to turn lemons into lemonades.
This is so motivating! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Glad you found it helpful, Maggie
I feel like to some it seems silly. But I struggle with appreciating what I already have and its so important.
You can start by journaling those little things.
Open and honest truth! Thank you for sharing!
I hope to share more often.
Oh this was a deep post… I think acknowledging and accepting is key, but gosh that takes some time hey! Great post 🙂
Glad you found the post great, Claire
These are all great ways to look forward, not back. I think that people get too hung up with the past and can’t get beyond things.
Yes, hoping many people will leave behind their pasts and look forward to the great things that lie ahead
Even with regrets I feel like something can be learned from the situation. You cannot change the past. So just accept and move on.
Yes, accept, move on but never ignore the lessons.
I definitely agree with appreciating what you have. For me, one of the easiest ways I can push myself out of whatever negative emotion I’m feeling is to take stock of all the great things I have in my life.
Even I do the same. It has changed my life significantly.
These are all really great steps to dealing with past failures and these are steps that I myself have used in the past.
We must be e-sisters to have this same approach towards dealing with regrets.
I do agree with these suggestions on how to deal with regrets. Forget the past but do not forget the lessons it taught you.
Those lessons are vital to making a regretless future
These are great tips in dealing with regret. Unforunately, we can’t change the past so it’s important thay we don’t allow regrets to rule our life presently.
I couldn’t agree less with this.
These are excellent tips. Having regrets is so normal and we all have to deal with them. I agree about accepting it and learning from your mistakes, it’s life!
We can only move on from those regrets.
I hate when I focus on the past and things that don’t matter. Great advice to move forward and heal!
Indeed!
these tips are amazing! the perfect perspective to regrets
Glad you found it helpful, Jasmine
Great tips! I tend to get stuck in the past as I want to somehow magically change it.
Sadly, we can’t change the past, but we can work our present self so we don’t have to worry about changing it when becomes past.
Great points! I have been stuck with my past years ago and now understood very well it is really harmful.
Good to read you’re now in a good space moving ahead of your past.
Always be grateful for what you have. Thanks for this lovely post, it was great to read! xo, Suzanne
Glad you found the post helpful.
Great tips!!! I feel acknowledging everything. Good and bad! Is the best thing to do. That way you aren’t holding onto the past and can move on
Hoping we do a lot of that as life throws tantrums
I couldn’t agree more, and find your suggestions to be realistic, looking back is exactly what happened to me! I marreid at age 24 and decided to wait to have children, but then got sick and when I wanted to have them I couldn’t! I regret not having them when I was younger!! But after many years, I finally got over it and stop regretting it (and also I now have two beautiful marvellous children, although I’m older than I thought I’d be as a mom 😉
Glad you found it helpful, Nati