I’m a working mother and a common belief has been that women who work and have families to look after can’t be good at both. Well to stay in the workforce after becoming a mother is a situation only working mothers understand and there are millions of examples around the world to prove that we can do both and that we’re good at it!
So, I thought talking about the skills that help us balance our work-life is a good affirmation of what we need to keep doing. Here’s a list of some of those
1. Being in control
Oh yeah it gets chaotic at times. But we still manage well when we have a plan for the day. Thinking your day through, working out schedules in advance and allotting time to professional and personal tasks goes a long way in making sure that the day doesn’t go completely out of hand. Prioritizing and figuring out what needs your attention and what you can go without doing are very important to stay in control. Avoid tasks that are time-wasters and those that aren’t imperative. One has to make allowances for the few times when nothing seems to be in control. Bottom line – if you generally have things figured, it may leave you exhausted, but the day usually works out to your satisfaction.
2. You are valuable and strong
Remember that always. Your decision to stay in the workforce after becoming a mother proves that. The numerous skills that good parenting need like time management, prioritizing, organizing, having a broader perspective, multitasking, dealing with stress and tantrums etc. automatically make us valuable members of the workforce! Motherhood strengthens you physically, emotionally and mentally and that’s why we are always on top of things at work too. We learn to persuade, balance, assure, satisfy, diffuse and induce to get things done. Emotional intelligence and managerial/organizational skills are exactly what make us so effective in our professional and personal lives. Remembering that makes all the difference.
3. Being a good communicator
It’s how we make sure that people around us are aware of when we need some understanding and help. When we communicate and share our goals/plans, people who care usually rally around to help us achieve them. Silent workers often burn themselves out. Being politely vocal about the time available to us for personal/professional tasks and what help and adjustments we need from others, enables partners, employers, family and friends to understand, accommodate their expectations to our situation and even give us a helping hand. Don’t forget, being a good communicator includes being articulate, realistic, honest and above all a good listener!
4. Nurturing Good Relationships
This is the corner stone of our success. Long term sustained relationships featuring mutual respect are invaluable when you need to balance work and life. No one can function alone. Co-existence, teamwork, flexibility and compassion in personal and professional relationships are qualities that are usually natural to working mothers who understand the vagaries of being a parent who works. Emotionally satisfying relationships are vital to cope and manage a balance in your work-life and that’s exactly what makes us nail it. Additionally, personal and formal/professional networks are essential. Being able to share and discuss your situation with working parents/mothers on the life front and with professionals on the work front helps us manage better and take efficient decisions.
5. Finding your personal space
If you don’t start doing this fast, you’re going to burnout and become inefficient. It’s really what keeps us sane in the midst of the whirlwind that life becomes. The key to doing a good job in both the workspace and on the personal front and to stay charged is to find time to do things that are important to you and that give you personal satisfaction. That doesn’t mean spending hours on personal hobbies while work piles up or pickup / feeding times are missed. An hour a day to take a deep breath and listen to music, take a nap, hit the gym, watch a show, catch a quiet bite at your fav café with a bestie, go to the spa or to run over to your favorite shop to buy something to pamper yourself – all fit into this category. Don’t forget it doesn’t always have to match everyone else’s schedule.
6. Competing with only yourself
Comparing yourself with every other working woman you know who has a family to look after too is never the way to go. Compete only with yourself. No one can know what’s going on with you or play your role better than you. When we keep evaluating ourselves and tweak our plans/goals as we go, we get better and better at balancing the different areas of our lives. Getting bogged down by thoughts of “how others are doing a better job” is a natural but not very realistic reaction. Only you can do what you’re doing and only you can know how to do it better. Stick to it and you’ll keep improving.
7. Thinking positive
There are always times when you won’t be doing as well as you’d like to. Stop killing yourself over it. You’re only human and if you’re giving it your best, forgive yourself for the times you mess up a little. Focus on the solution to the problem at hand and refuse to spiral into self-pity. Success comes from keeping at it and learning from one’s mistakes rather than wallowing in them. Being apologetic all the time doesn’t help in the least. You aren’t superhuman so don’t let anyone expect it. Stay with what’s realistic and you’ll crack it. The thing to remember is that no one can be perfect, and you can’t be physically everywhere. The best way to manage is by changing your perception of “chaos” by thinking about “priority” instead.
8. It’s not really that big a deal
People love to tell us “how difficult it must be” to manage a job with a family. I think they’ve either forgotten what it was like or have never done it themselves. With the kind of practice, we get in the “organizational skills” department as mothers, we could probably run an entire country if need be! In fact, there are so many parallels in the kind of skill sets one needs to manage a family and a job. Once you get the hang of planning ahead, tweaking your plans last minute to fit in a “drop off”, “diaper change” or even a quick snack for a hungry toddler – it all starts sailing smoothly. In the end those angelic smiles, tiny hugs and messy kisses more than make up for it all.
In the end what Greg Mckeown says makes a lot of sense, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will”. We need to prepare ourselves for adjustments and compromises, but the clearer we are about our priorities, the better balance we are able to achieve.
Keep going, keep achieving.
Magbè Savané
I think every mom with a hustle (or a day job) needs to read this. It’s so hard to balance work and home life, but it’s something we need to do.
I’m always rooting for moms. They make many things work.
Thanks a lot for the great article, I just shared it across my network. You’re spot on in regards to these skills and it is very important for people to understand that these skills can be learned.
Thanks for sharing. Glad you found it helpful.
I feel like I really needed to read this post today, so I am grateful to have come across it. As someone who works from home and for herself, a work/life balance isn’t always easy to find. I shall keep your advice and tips in mind.
Glad you found it helpful. I see you finding that balance soon.
I seriously needed this today! I am in between jobs and struggling with working for myself which in turn is taking time away from family. Need to balance it out
You CAN do it. Sending you lots of love.
balancing work life and family life is never easy. if person also has hobbies and do his or her best to maintain healthy lifestyle it becomes even harder. But your tips are surely helpful!
Yes, I know how these things are. Super relatable. Glad you find these tips helpful.
Your words are very empowering ! Communication and positivity are really are probably most important for me.
I swear by those two. I endeavour to proclaim positive words of affirmation in every situation.
These are indeed good tips for mothers, having good communication skills is key to succeeding in anything in life. Am glad you’ve mentioned this in this post.
Communication is the backbone of all human relationship. Without it, many homes will be in chaos.
Some really helpful advice and tips here! As a woman, I can defintiely relate to these tips x
They are indeed helpful. I’ll share more of these posts, visit the blog more often.
So many responsibilities come up in life. We are needed by so many people. It’s helpful to learn how to balance work and choose an intentional outlook.
Being able to balance the many aspects of our lives is the only healthy way to live
I have always tried to not judge a working mother; raising a family and holding a job are two very important things in it of their own. More power to those who conquer it all!
Yes, Sarah. I’m sending them lots of love.
Now, this is a great skills to acquire and I think not just for woman but also for man. These skills definitely a big help for everybody who will acquire it.
Yes, everyone needs one or two skills from the post to be better people.
This is what I really needed. Balancing work-life is very challenging but this tips are something that could be very helpful for me.
Glad you find it helpful, Preet.
Nurturing good relations. This one won me over. It is so so important to have good healthy relations around you. Who you surround with is who you truely become!
LOVELY article 🙂
I totally agree with you, Sakshi.
Work-life balance is an important aspect of a healthy work environment. Maintaining work-life balance helps reduce stress and helps prevent burnout in the workplace. Chronic stress is one of the most common health issues in the workplace.
Exactly! This is why everyone needs to keep these things in check.
I love this post, I am a firm believer that you can’t have it all, something always have to give. While my children are so young they are definitely my priority.
Set and knowing your priorities helps a lot with maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
It can definitely be hard balancing work and life. These are some great tips for finding that balance.
Glad you found it helpful.
“Compete with only yourself” really resonated with me. I can’t compare myself to someone else who might be in a different point in their journey.
We have so many things out there putting us in unnecessary competitions. Not so healthy!
Yes I do agree with these list of skills that we should have. This is really inspiring and I am still working on some of those skills.
Glad you found it inspiring. Hoping master all of these in no time.
I am here for the stop worrying and keeping a positive out look. We have to make sure that we are our own biggest cheerleader
I so much agree with you.
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