- Free from pretense or deceit; proceeding from genuine feelings (Sincere)
- Of
undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine (Authentic)
Nope, not trying to bore you to death with dictionary meanings, but that’s what the dictionary says about “Sincere” and “Authentic” respectively. It’s been confusing me for years and I think I finally see the difference. Whereas one is about true feelings the other is more about what actually is a fact. So when you’re sincere, you’re acting in a way in which you genuinely feel is right while when you’re authentic, you’re being who you are.
So which one should you be? Well the obvious answer seems to be – you need to decide which to be at different times! In general, it is important to be true to your feelings (sincere) and yet not put on airs or try to be someone you’re not (authentic).
I’ve been reading up on authenticity and as far as being authentic goes, there is definitely a lot of confusion on whether one actually needs to be “authentic” all the time. Well just to make it more interesting and to contradict a lot of theories on “authenticity”, I’ve dug up 7 critical reasons why we can’t always be authentic. Surprised? Well take a look.
1. Getting out of your comfort zone
Sometimes the trouble is that we feel like we’re “faking it” if a situation requires us to go against our natural impulse. The result is that we make that an excuse for not stepping out of our comfort zone. There are times when we need to do things that are not on our value list or “not me”, especially when career advancements are at stake.
The good news is that more often, times that challenge our personal identity give us the best lessons of our life. Basically, it all boils down to having a good, sensible degree of authenticity. A rigid sense of identity sometimes hinders progress and so that’s why it is useful to always be sincere to our goals, even if we are sacrificing being authentic.
2. We need to evolve
Being authentic can at times stop you from evolving with experience and introspection. You can’t always be “true to yourself” if you want to keep learning and grow. Similarly, always being your “honest and outspoken self” can be hazardous and impractical in many cases. It could in fact, hamper your progress professionally and on the personal front. Being “authentic” in that sense of the term is not always the right thing to do.
3. If you change you achieve
It is all a matter of judgment and priority. Being rigid does not help if you are working towards personal and professional goals. A fixed idea of who and what you are can stop you from moving forward. Additionally, achieving life goals requires the contribution of many around you. It is certainly not something you can do all on your own. Inflexibility will stop you from making headway when you live and work with people who do not share your standards or values. Be sincere, keep changing, keep adjusting to keep growing. Remember changing your mind is ok, life changes, interests change and so should your true self.
4. It’s easier to be honest than authentic
Telling yourself and others the truth about what and why you think/do is much easier than trying to stay “authentic” all the time. Authenticity can be twisted by social and professional pressures, expectations and norms. Not so for honesty. As long as you are honest and sincere about your intentions and you are free from the obligation of being authentic, it is easy to live with yourself, be happy and keep growing.
5. Sometimes “Authentic” is not real
The way society has evolved we are constantly under pressure to behave in certain ways. So much so, that often our “authenticity” is based on what we think someone else’s idea of ourselves should be. To make it easy to understand, we many a times think we are being “ourselves” when in fact we are behaving in a way we want someone else to perceive us. These are times we need to sit down and actually evaluate who we really are. The first step to become authentic is to separate our identity from what we are pretending to be and to make sure that what we are projecting ourselves as, is not a product of social pressures and norms. Many of us try to match our identity and true self to other people’s definitions of authenticity. That messes up any chance we have of ever being authentic anyway.
6. You can’t really know who you are / want to be unless you’ve done it
Most of life is a sequence of trials and errors. That’s how you learn about what you like, what you believe in, what motivates you and what doesn’t. So, finding out who or what is your authentic self, cannot be a static event. It is something that you learn and figure out as you go. In fact, I’d go as far to say that you will keep discovering your true self for the rest of your life. So, your personal “authentic” will be different at different stages of life!
7. It’s a mindset trap!
If you insist on being a certain kind of person you are automatically turning a blind eye to opposing views or behavior. Essentially that means shutting the door on having an open mind. Just to repeat what I’ve already said many times, this kind of thinking and behavior obstructs growth. If we think about it, is there really only one “self”? Our true self changes and depends on the different roles that we play and the varied situations we encounter in life. So, can we really call a particular self to be our authentic identity?
A lot of people believe that just introspection cannot teach you valuable lessons. Life experiences, events, trials and experimentation give you priceless insights that help you along the way. In fact, there are many who don’t see much of a reason for “authenticity”. Besides, no matter how much we may want, we cannot detach and disentangle ourselves from our social connections and the impact they have on our existence.
Rather than getting stuck in the authenticity rut, it is something that Charles Darwin said that makes real sense –
t is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”
Don’t limit your possibilities, change, evolve, grow and you will achieve your best potential.
Keep growing!
Magbè
Nicely put. Thank you for exploring the distinction between sincerity, honesty, and authenticity. Our culture overvalues authenticity, I think, and always sees it as a positive…and clearly that’s problematic! As an INFJ personality type, I *don’t* like being “authentic” all the time in the way our culture defines it.
Having to be ‘authentic’ is all good until you lose yourself. Such a sad culture of authenticity.
Amazing read and I agree!!! Authenticity for most of people is based on how others see us which is not really authentic if you think about it. I think self awareness is key to being authentic.
And most times, people are conflicted trying to live up to expectations.
This is so accurate. Being yourself and staying true to who you are is what matters the most.
Completely agree with you💯
Being yourself makes you so real and bold. You can’t hide under another person’s shadow.
Exactly as one way to crush your goals is to be bold.
I think it should be more “be you” rather than “be authentic”. Because personality is the one that makes us react one way or another, even if we step out of our comfort zone.
Yes, Joanna. Be authentic is conforming to societal expectations of you, good or bad. However, being yourself is working on your personality.
Oh girl, this is such a topic and it’s so interesting to reach the other comments – I honestly believe that being authentic is easy… the problem is that we’ve gone so far down the rabbit hole of trying to portray ourselves as someone we’re really not it becomes a task to just “be real”. Great post!
That deception kills faster than anything.
Great read and I absolutely agree. It’s so important to stay true to yourself.
Thank you for stopping by, Latasha
Wow, great insight. I think a lot of times we try to hard to be, what is defined in society as, authentic that we end up losing who we are.
It is so easy to lose ourselves in this tech age that social media standards have become a yard of judgment.
Even though we cannot always be 100% authentic, we should endeavor to make strides to discover more about ourselves. Who we are evolves and changes and it’s less about a destination than a journey of going deeper to keep discovering and unfolding new pieces of ourselves as we go.
Exactly!
What a thought-provoking post! I think being yourself regardless of others is most important.
I couldn’t agree less.
This was a really interesting & thought provoking post! I guess it lies a bit in how you define “authentic” as well..
Yes, that’s why authentic is in quote. That overzealousness towards conformity.
This is something I need to remember every single day! I love that topic. It shows how being authentic formed us in our daily living.
I wouldn’t mind you bookmarking or printing the post out😊
Thanks for stopping by.
This post is so on point. At the end of the day, staying true to yourself is what’s most important.
Exactly! When you stay true to yourself, it makes you human and your flaws will be accepted.
One thing I’ve learned after turning 40, is that sometimes you don’t even know what your authentic self is. I felt like I truly stepped into who I was after 40, before then, I was trying to figure it out. I will say it’s been liberating though, and I’m pretty sure I have so much more to learn. I’m excited about it nonetheless.
Glad to read you’ve been making conscious decisions to be YOU.
Love your blog!
Thank you, Jerry!
Pingback: 11 Super Ways to Relieve Stress Under Pressure | Magbe Savane